Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Noach

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

In Bereishis 7:11 the Torah writes -  בַּיּ֣וֹם הַזֶּ֗ה נִבְקְעוּ֙ כָּל־מַעְיְנוֹת֙ תְּה֣וֹם רַבָּ֔ה וַֽאֲרֻבֹּ֥ת הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם נִפְתָּֽחוּ. Rashi analyzes the word רַבָּ֔ה and explains that the punishment was Middah K'Neged Middah - since the people of the generation sinned with רַבָּ֔ה, they were punished with רַבָּ֔ה.

R' Frand then asked - it is known that the generation of the flood was punished either because they were involved in immorality or because they stole. What is the רַבָּ֔ה referring to?

R' Frand answered by quoting a Sefer by an unidentified Vilna Dayan who explains that the people were involved in in the pursuit of uncontrolled pleasure - this is what is referred to.

R' Frand then tied this to the Yonah bringing the olive branch back to the Ark. R' Frand quoted a Medrash which states that the olive branch was actually from Gan Eden as Hashem opened Gan Eden to allow the Yonah to retrieve it. 

But why did the Yonah need to bring an olive branch from Gan Eden? Wouldn't any olive branch suffice?

R' Frand answered that if a person wants to prevent his pursuit of pleasure from getting out of control, he should connect it with something spiritual. This was the reason that the olive branch was brought from Gan Eden - to show that the spiritual can connected with earthly pursuits.

R' Frand closed this part of the vort by repeating a story from a R' Mattisyahu Solomon ZTL sefer about a Rosh Yeshiva who was a Ba'al Teshuva. In his youth, he had been visiting the seedy sections of Haifa when he saw a Yeshiva Bochur who when he passed an inappropriate venue, had shielded his eyes so as to not see it. This was intriguing to him and he wondered what pleasure the Yeshiva Bochur found superior to this? He came to follow the boy and saw the Yeshiva lifestyle and eventually became a Rosh Yeshiva.

R' Frand told a second vort about the animals which came to the Ark - specifically noting that the non-Kosher animanls came to the Ark on their own and that Noach had to go out and locate the kosher animals. 

R' Frand quoted R' Ya'akov Kaminetsky who explained that that the kosher animals were destined to be sacrifices and that someone involved in a Mitzva needs to make an investment in order for the Mitzva  to be complete. This is similarly why a person pays for a Mi Sheberach after getting an Aliyah - because getting a Mitzva for free creates a blemished Mitzva - only by paying for the Mi Sheberach is the Mitzva complete.

R' Frand closed the vort by quoting R' Simcha Zissel Brody who noted that Sefer Bereishis is called Sefer HaYashar because the Avos were straight and always comported themselves with the nations in a way that they were beyond reproach.

This trickled down to the animals as well. As the Kosher animals were destined to be sacrifices, it would not be appropriate for them to instinctively go to the Ark from which they would be later sacrificed. Only the non-Kosher animals which were not destined for slaughter had the instinct to travel to the Ark on their own.

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The Second Part of Rabbi Frand's Teshuva Derasha 5785/2024

The following is second half of the recap of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand in his annual Teshuva Derasha which was broadcast live from Baltimore on the TCN network Thursday Night. This was a very powerful derasha and my attempt to summarize should not be viewed as an exact transcript. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand said that while we won't understand why the attack occurred, but we are aware of the ramifications. The rise of antisemitism is beyond what anyone could have dreamed. 

R' Frand tied this to the Meshecha Chacmah's writing on Galus in Parshas Bechukosai in connection with the Tochacha. He writes that the Jews were destined to be in Galus for 3,000 years and that in order to prepare them, Ya'akov gave his children certain instructions when they went down to Egypt - they needed to be different and not change their clothes, names or language. And he told them that they must bury him in Canaan because if they were buried in Egypt, his children would give up on ever leaving Egypt.

Similarly Daniel enacted certain rules during the 70 years of the Galus after the destruction of the First Temple. He forbade Pas Akum and Shemen Akum and Bishul Akum. Because if they would not be allowed to eat with the Akum they would not be fraternizing with them and there would not be a danger that they would be marrying their daughters. Later Ezra and the Anshei Knesses Hagedolah reinforced this to prevent assimilation.  

But the Meshech Chachma notes that after being in a country for generations there will be assimilation. And then there will be a terrific storm which causes the Jews to leave that country for another country. But after rebuilding Torah and being successful, they will again forget that they are in a foreign country and they will give up on being saved. But then there will be another storm which will be even stronger. And the pattern will continue and continue and the Jews will forget where they had come from and will believe that Berlin is Jerusalem. As he died in 1926, this was well before the Holocaust.

R' Frand recounted the Aggadah in Bava Basra that people were on a boat and they saw an island. They got off the boat and settled and cooked and baked on the island and thought they had made it. But then it was too hot for the fish which actually was under the dirt they were on and it turned over and they all slid off. And if the boat was not close by, they would have drowned. 

The Maharsha says that this story is a parable and the Nesivos writes that this is something like Achris HaYamim like America. But eventually it gets too hot for the fish.

R' Frand said that he saw the Meshech Chachma more than 40 years ago and wondered if it could happen in the USA. And yes it can.

R' Frand quoted Nathan Lewin in an op-ed where he talked about his grandfather who was on the city counsel in Lodz. A Jew was shot and killed in broad daylight and Mr. Lewin's grandfather wanted to mark the event at the city council. But a virulent anti semite got up and said - "If I could I would shoot 1,000 Jews...what are you doing in Poland, go back to Palestine."

And now 86 years on the college campuses, the "River to the Sea" protestors tell the Jews they should "go back to Poland."

So which is it - is it Palestine? Is it Poland? Is it the sea? Where are we to go?

R' Frand said that antisemitism cannot be cured until the Moshiach comes. Because as Rashbi states - Halacha He Esav Soneh L'Yaakov. But this is not a halachic ruling! R' Moshe Feinstein writes that the same way that halacha wont change, this wont change. R' Frand added on that the same way that we don't understand all halachos, we won't understand this.

And it is not logical. Dr Salk saved the country by curing polio and there have been hundreds of Nobel Prize winners. But just like there are laws of nature, the world was set up that Esav Soneh L'Yaakov.

R' Frand quoted a Gemara in Shabbos which writes that the Toah was given on Sinai, but Sinah came down to the world at the same time. And just as inexplicable was the giving of the Torah was the the devolution of antisemitism.

And antisemitism started in the womb with Esav fighting Yaakov. We don't know why this was Hashem's plan, but maybe it has to do with the fact that we would in Galus for so many years and that this is a way that they will reject us and we will not intermarriage with them.

R' Frand said that there is way to survive and thrive and we learn it from Bila'am who tried to curse and kill us. But he said something so profound in Bamidbar 23:9 - הֶן־עָם֙ לְבָדָ֣ד יִשְׁכֹּ֔ן וּבַגּוֹיִ֖ם לֹ֥א יִתְחַשָּֽׁב.

R' Frand quoted the Netziv who writes that the Jews are not like every other nation which assimilates and becomes accepted into the society they are in. When the Jews are separated and are not mixed, they will be able to live in serenity and peace - if they are separate they will leave in peace, but if you want to be with them, they won't consider us a nation.

R' Frand quoted R' Chaim Volozhin who said that if the Jews don't make Kiddush, the Akum will make Havdalah and will separate us. Our job is to be a holy people and to live an exalted existence, then they will leave in peace with us.

R' Frand also quoted the Netziv on the Hagaddah who writes that what stands for us in every generation is that V'hi - "it" - that which was said in Bris Bein HaBisarim (Bereishis 15:13) -  יָדֹ֨עַ תֵּדַ֜ע כִּי־גֵ֣ר | יִֽהְיֶ֣ה זַרְעֲךָ֗ בְּאֶ֨רֶץ֙ לֹ֣א לָהֶ֔ם וַֽעֲבָד֖וּם וְעִנּ֣וּ אֹתָ֑ם - the way to survive and thrive is to be a stranger. But if we think we came over on the Mayflower and this is our country, we won't surive.

So what is there for us to do? Are we not making Kiddush? Are we not learning Daf Yomi? Are we not davening three times a day? Are the women not dressed Tzniously? 

R' Frand said that if there is a positive impact from the events of October 7 it is that Jews on college campuses are flocking to Hillel and Chabad in ways that there never were before. Whether this is because they want to understand what it means to be a Jew or because they are seeking shelter among their own kind, or even if its because they want Jewish comfort food, they are reaching out. And we should be there to satisfy that thirst. In so doing, our mitzvos will become more infused with holiness. And a sure fire way to do is to explain Judaism to an unaffiliated person - and both will become more holy and you will appreciate your Judaism more.

R' Frand quoted a book called Suddenly Jewish by Barbara Kessell, The author writes that if she thinks seriously about possibly being told that she was not Jewish, she would be devastated. She writes that she knows that on Friday Nights she will set her table with a white tablecloth and her best dishes and the family will talk about the week's events. She knows that in the spring her family will visit and have a Seder. And in the fall she will fast 25 hours and think about how she can better herself. And if this was taken from her she would be devastated.

R' Frand said that the Netziv asks - do we feel like we are in Galus, or do we think that Berlin is Jerusalem? But more to the point, we make the Sinah more palpable when we get in the face of Akum neighbors. R' Yaakov Kaminetsky told people in Monsey not to walk in the street with their Tallis on the outside. Why? Because this is Galus and not Jerusalem.

R' Frand said that he was told a story by a man from Lakewood who had been on a flight. He had a conversation with a seatmate who said - I can't get over how many hundreds of houses are going up on Rt 70 - have the Chasidim taken over the zoning board too? There is latent anti-semitism, but we make it worse when we do things people don't like - and driving in a way that is disrespectful to others only adds gas to the fire. So R' Frand suggested that frum Jews take on to drive in a more considerate way.

R' Frand also said that if people want to feel the Galus then when they daven Shemoneh Esreh they should have more Kavanah in V'Leyrushalaim Ircha. He remarked that he was born in the USA and likes baseball and apple pie, but he has had enough with America and its time to daven for Geulah.

R' Frand also quoted the Rabbeinu Yona who said that if you don't reach out to Hashem in this time, its a smack across His face. The Rabbeinu Yona then repeats the parable about a group of prisoners who escape prison, but one stays behind. The warden hits him and says to him - the way to get out is there and you did not use it. R' Frand said that for years he had problems with this medrash. But he heard from R' Gelbwirth in the name of R' Moshe Shapiro that the king knows that the most wonderful place in the world to be is in his country and if you choose to stay in prison you are an idiot and an insult to the king.

R' Frand said that we have a reverse incarceration - we are not locked in, we are locked out of our homeland. And if you are comfortable being here, you are insulting the King as you take the position that you would prefer to be here.

R' Frand talked about the section of the house which when built is supposed to be left empty. Why? Because in Galus you need to know that life is not complete. You may need a large house because you have a large family, but you don't need every convenience.

R' Frand closed by asking - am I advocating that everyone make Aliyah? He answered "Yes,but" sometimes its not feasible, or practical or even possible. But we need to remember that this is not our homeland and we should not treat it as such. So when sitting on Yom Kippur think about what you can do to remember you are in Galus and bring mor Kedushah into your life. Because where we are is not Jerusalem and if we feel that way, then maybe He will bring the Geulah.

R' Frand quoted Yeshaya in the 6th Haftorah after Tisha B'Av where he states that in place of being despised, I will make you an eternal source of joy for generations. Instead of being spat on and called "Jew" - you will be the joy. This will happen - and then they will come running and want to support you, but Hashem will say that it is too late, and I have the record. He quoted R' Pa'am who said - why does the UN exist? Because one day they will come and say - we were always on your side. But all the votes in the UN have been recorded and I have the record.

We should live to see the day when we will be lauded and be the pride of the world from generation to generation soon in our days.

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Thursday's Thoughts on Teshuva - Rabbi Frand's Teshuva Derasha 5785/2024 - Part I

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand in his annual Teshuva Derasha which was broadcast live from Baltimore on the TCN network this evening. I have attempted to summarize the first part of the derasha in this post and iyh will do an additional post over the weekend. This was a very powerful derasha and my attempt to summarize should not be viewed as an exact transcript as it is based on my notes. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

Rabbi Frand began by noting that this year there is no need to look for a topic for the derasha as the events of Shmini Atzeres/Simchas Torah (October 7) and the subsequent horrible events needed to be the subject of the derasha. But while the topic is obvious, the message is a daunting challenge. We do not have Nev'im to tell us the message and we live in the fog of Hester Panim.

But even though we don't have Nevi'im, Hashem speaks to us cryptically through events and it is our job to figure it out.

R' Frand noted that the majority of Jews who are not religious are not asking themselves - what does Hashem want. But those who are Frum believe in divine intervention and when a world shattering event occurs - Hashem is not only speaking to us - He is shouting at us.

R' Frand stated that we should not look at the non-religious and say that the events occurred because they are not religious. R' Frand quoted the Brisker Rav who said that this is an incorrect mindset and he brought a proof from the story of Yonah which we will read on Yom Kippur afternoon. When Yonah gets on the boat there was a terrible storm and the boat was going to capsize. During this time, the sailors all worshipped their idols while Yonah slept. But then Yonah said - this is my fault - its not the idol worshippers. The Brisker Rav in his time said that the events which were occurring were not due to the actions or inactions of the Chilonim - it was due to the actions of the frum Jews.

So what is the message? R' Frand said that it is well above his pay grade. But he did note that there was a message from the events of April 13, 2024 when all the projectiles from Iran were shot down and not a single Jew in Israel died. An Israeli general called it a statistical anomaly, as the Iron Dome was only rated as being able to intercept 90% of the incoming projectiles. 

But even if you have forgotten about the events of April 13, 2024, think back to last week when Iran launched not drones or cruise missiles - but ballistic missiles which are much harder to intercept. And not a single Jew was killed.

R' Frand said that this message from Hashem was - this is a miracle to show you that I still love you. And even though I punished you for whatever the reason, I am like a father and I still love you and have not abandoned you.

But R' Frand said that there is another message from this miracle - you still need Me. You can't do this just with your high tech wizardly - that can fail. Just think back to October 7 when the great Israeli army and intelligence and defense was overrun by men on motorcycles and hang gliders. The message was - you can't do this yourself, you still need Me.

R' Frand said that he saw a quote from a female member of the Knesset who by her own admission was not a religious woman. She said that we need the protection of Hashem and the Rabbanim who learn Torah. And she was heckled by members of the Knesset but she stood her ground because she knew she was right.

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Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshios Netzavim - Vayelech

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand began the vort by quoting the Gemara in Chaggigah 5a which states that when R' Yochanan got to the pasuk in Devarim 31:21 וְהָיָ֠ה כִּֽי־תִמְצֶ֨אןָ אֹת֜וֹ רָע֣וֹת רַבּוֹת֘ וְצָרוֹת֒ he would cry out and say - a slave whose master brings this upon him, can he be saved? He is lost!

R' Meir Shapiro in his sefer Imrei Da'as asked - why is that R' Yochanan cried here, but not when he read the Tochacha? 

To answer the question he cited a Gemara in Berachos wherein R' Yochanan says that Yisurin create an atonement for a person. He learns this from the rule of Shen V'Ever - if a master knocks out a tooth or breaks a limb, the servant goes free, how much more so when a person is afflicted on their entire body! But Reish Lakish disagrees, stating that we learn the beneficial effect of Yisurin from salt - just like it has a positive effect on meat, so does Yisurin on the body.

R' Meir Shapiro then noted that when a master knocks out a tooth or breaks a limb, the servant knows where it is coming from. But what bothered R' Yochanan is that וְהָיָ֠ה כִּֽי־תִמְצֶ֨אןָ - the Yisurin appear to the person as something which just "happened." If a person realizes that the Yisurin come from Hashem, then they can create an atonement. But if the event is viewed as happenstance, there is no way that it can create an atonement for him and he is suffering for nothing. 

R' Frand observed that when good things happen, people will say that they saw the Yad Hashem. But people don't have that reaction when negative things occur. 

R' Frand also told a story from R' Tzvi Hersh Meislish which was written in the introduction to the Sefer Shu't Mikadshei Hashem. He writes that he was in the concentration camp on Rosh Hashanah. There were 1400 bochurim who were in a cell block who knew that they were headed to the gas chamber. They asked R' Meislish to blow Shofar for them as they knew that he had a Shofar. And R' Meislish was on the fence about whether he should blow the Shofar as they might catch him and throw him in the gas chambers as well CV'S. When his son heard about the request he begged his father not to blow Shofar, but R' Meislish decided he would blow anyway, even though Halacha would say that a person does not need to put his life in danger for Shofar.

R' Meislish went into the block and he began the introductory Tefillah before blowing Shofar but the Bochurim begged him for a Shmooze. He quoted the pasuk from Tehillim 81:4 תִּקְע֣וּ בַחֹ֣דֶשׁ שׁוֹפָ֑ר בַּ֜כֶּ֗סֶה לְי֣וֹם חַגֵּֽנוּ. He explained it as by saying that we don't know why Hashem is doing this to us, it is hidden why this is happening, but we need to continue.

The Bochurim did not want to hear 9 Kolos - they wanted 100 Kolos and he did blow Shofar in full. After he finished, a Bochut got up and said - we can hope for the best, but we need to prepare for the worst - lets not forget to say Shema Yisrael and then they all said it loud and with fervor. And then each Bochur came to him to wish the best for the new year and that he should survive.

R' Frand closed the vort saying that it was a very difficult year and that he still cannot get his head around why this needed to happen on Shmini Atzeres/Simchas Torah. But we need to know that it is all from Hashem and we need to continue.

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Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Ki Savo

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

Rabbi Frand noted that the Torah tells us in Devarim 28:47 that the curses will come תַּ֗חַת אֲשֶׁ֤ר לֹֽא־עָבַ֨דְתָּ֙ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בְּשִׂמְחָ֖ה וּבְט֣וּב לֵבָ֑ב מֵרֹ֖ב כֹּֽל. But why is the lack of Simcha the reason that the curses come? After all, they did keep all the Mitzvos!

Rabbi Frand quoted the Sefer L'Romem which refers to the story of the Egel in Parshas Ki Sissa. The Seforno teaches that although Moshe had been advised by Hashem that the Jews had created and worshipped the Egel, he did not break the Luchos until Shemos 32:19 -  וַיַּ֥רְא אֶת־הָעֵ֖גֶל וּמְחֹלֹ֑ת. The Seforno explains that Moshe only broke the Luchos because he saw that they were dancing and rejoicing. Because its one thing to sin and another to do one with gusto. The Seforno similar teaches on the words in Shemos 32:30  וַיֹּ֤אמֶר משֶׁה֙ אֶל־הָעָ֔ם אַתֶּ֥ם חֲטָאתֶ֖ם חֲטָאָ֣ה גְדֹלָ֑ה - the great sin was that they made this into a Yom Tov.

R' Frand said if you want to see how committed a person is to religion - look to see if he does the Mitzvos with simcha or if he is just going through the motions.

R' Frand quoted the Arizal who had remarked to his student R' Chaim Vital that the reason he was Zoche was because he did the Mitzvos with Hislahavos - with great enthusiasm.

R' Frand also quoted a story from the Sefer about R' Ya'akov Kaminetsky ZTL who was once at a wedding where he was seated next to a Russian Jew who was not wearing a Kippah. They began speaking and R' Ya'akov asked him about his background. The man said that his father was raised in Russia during the communist era and that he knew nothing about Judaism. The only thing he knew was the pasuk תַּ֗חַת אֲשֶׁ֤ר לֹֽא־עָבַ֨דְתָּ֙ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בְּשִׂמְחָ֖ה וּבְט֣וּב לֵבָ֑ב מֵרֹ֖ב כֹּֽל which he recited with a Yiddish accent. How did he know this? Because he was in Bergen Belsen and when he went to chop wood he went with a Jew who refused to shave his beard and who with every chop would repeat the pasuk.

The bearded Jew was no less than the Klausenberger Rebbi who said to himself with each chop that these events were occurring because he did not serve Hashem with simcha. This is the same Klausenberger Rebbi who lost his wife and 11 children in the Holocaust and who afterwards rebuilt his Chassidus and brought back countless Jews, besides rebuilding his own family.

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Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Ki Seitzei

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand noted that the inyan of Ben Tzorer U' Moreh ("BTUM") follows immediately after the Torah's discussion in Devarim 21:16-17 of the rules of inheritance in that the first born takes a double portion of the estate. But is the reason for the juxtaposition of the two topics?

R' Frand quoted the Shem M'Shmuel which states that the first born takes a double portion because he sets the tone for the rest of the children who come afterwards. The way that he acts and behaves influences the rest of the family. R' Frand noted that the wife of the Rosh Yeshiva (R' Ruderman) was the first in her family to get married and before she got married, her father told her - you need to marry a Talmid Chacham, because who you choose will set the standard for the rest of the family. As a result, all the other daughters in her family followed her lead to marry Talmidei Chachamim. 

The lesson is that beginnings are very important - the first born child sets the standard for the family and the beginning of the BTUM's life is indicative of how he will behave, which is why the punishment applies when he shows that he is going down that path.

R' Frand also noted that we behave differently during Aseres Yimei Teshuva, whether or not it will continue throughout the year. R' Frand said that this is why people are makpid to eat Pas Yisrael in Aseres Yimei Teshuva. This is not to trick Hashem, CVS. But it is meant to show that beginnings are important and that we want to start the year on the right foot by being Machmir for Pas Yisrael.

R' Frand then noted that the Gemara in Sanhedrin states that there never was a BTUM and that it is taught so that we can receive reward for learning the subject. But immediately thereafter, R' Yochanan states that he saw a BTUM and and sat on his grave. How is this to be understood?

R' Frand quoted the Chasam Sofer who explains that the Gemara is saying that Beis Din never executed a BTUM, but they did exist. R' Yochanan did see a BTUM who himself was killed when he attempted to rob someone in order to feed his desires. And R' Yochanan said - I saw someone who was like a BTUM and like the Gemara predicted, he was killed when he tried to rob someone.

But what is the meaning of the statement that it was taught so that one can receive reward? Learn from the story what can happen if a kid is corrupted at an early stage because its not going to end well. So if you see this occurring, act accordingly.

R' Frand also said a vort on the mitzva of Shiluach HaKen which has a promise of a dual reward of a good life and a long life. R' Frand noted that mitzva of honoring parents has the same dual reward but in the reverse order. But why?

R' Frand quoted the Shemen HaTov who explains that Shiluach HaKen can apply equally to people of any age. But a kid in his 20s being told that he will have a long life won't be that meaningful as he does not see his own mortality. But being told that he will have a good life does.

Meanwhile the mitzva of Kibbud Av does not really become a major issue until the parents are older. When a person is young, he stands up for a parent and speaks nicely to a parent and respects the parent. But when the parent is older and the child is now older as well, it becomes much more difficult. And at that age when the parent is older, the child also is older and now the promise of long life is much more appealing. At this stage, the child is told, you will receive a long life for honoring your parent and the child anticipates that his children will take care of him as a result.

R' Frand closed his remarks by talking about his father who came to the US in 1939 and then brought his wife, son and his own mother over a year later. R' Frand said that his grandmother lived with them until the late 1950s at which point she needed to go to a nursing home following a stroke. And even though the home was a half hour drive from their house and his grandmother did not recognize her son, R' Frand's father drove every night to see her (other than leil Shabbos).

R' Frand said that he wanted to do the same for his mother, even though she lived in Seattle and she had Parkinson's and could not communicate. R' Frand said that every time that he had a speaking engagement on the West Coast he would go to see her. And even though she could not communicate, he would go to see her and to the best of his ability, he would tell her about his life. R' Frand said that one of the last times that he saw her they sat and watched the US Open, even though his mother thought that golf was stupid and she hated it. Still, they sat and he held his mother's hand and they watched it together to spend some time together, to fulfill his father's legacy.

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