Thursday, November 24, 2022

Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Toldos

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand began the vort by noting that the parsha seems to have a superfluous statement at the end of the pasuk which describes the sale of the Bechora as after recounting the transaction the Torah states  וַיִּ֥בֶז עֵשָׂ֖ו אֶת־הַבְּכֹרָֽה.

R' Frand first quoted Rashi and the Sifsei Chachamim who write that the Torah wanted to underscore that Esav was Mevazeh (loosely translated as despised) the Bechora. But this still does not seem to be much more than commentary.

R' Frand then quoted R' Boruch Sorotzkin in the Sefer HaBina V'HaBeracha who states that this is an indicia of Esav's mentality. R' Frand introduced this concept by quoting R' Bukspan who had tipped him off to a Medrash HaGadol which states that after completing the transaction, Esav bragged about it to groups of people, saying - look how I ripped off Ya'akov. I got an entire meal from him in exchange for the worthless role of being the Bechor.

We know that there are times that a person will make a mistake which may be driven by desperation or even just poor planning. Afterwards the person will realize that he made  mistake and could either admit that it was not a good decision ... or rationalize that it was a good result.

It was not in Esav's nature to admit to making a mistake. Instead, he strengthened his resolve by bragging to others about how he rooked Ya'akov. 

R' Frand quoted the Shem MiShmuel who noted that after Yitzchak gave the blessings to Ya'akov, the Torah writes that Esav married the daughter of Yishmael. But why did this occur now and why do we even need to know that he added another wife? He answered that Esav blamed his lot on the fact that he had married a daughter of Canaan which in retrospect was not a good move since Avraham had told Eliezer that they were not appropriate for Yitzchak. He thought that maybe he had not merited the berachos because his children were the offspring of a nation which was cursed. To remedy the situation he married the daughter of his uncle.

This was yet another example of Esav blaming others for his misfortune and failing to realize that his actions were the reason for his downfall.

The Shem MiShmuel quoted his father the Avnei Nezer who cited the Ba'al HaTurim which writes that the gematria of Esav is Shalom. The Avnei Nezer explains that Esav's nature is say to - all is good, I have done nothing wrong and peace will be with me.

R' Frand closed the vort by noting that after Avraham has his name change we are no longer allowed to refer to him as "Avram" but after Ya'akov is called Yisrael we still see he is called Ya'akov at times. Why? Because as an Akov he saw himself as crooked and in need of being straightened and he lived his life striving to better himself.

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Thursday, November 17, 2022

Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Chaye Sarah

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand began the first vort by quoting the Shelah who observes that in the beginning of this week's parsha we see a number of times that Avraham bows to Hashem to thank Him for being able to buy Ma'aras HaMachpela. This occurs in Bereishis 23:7 and 23:12, even though the transaction had not yet been consummated. In fact, at each point Avraham had positive results from his conversations, but Avraham does not actually buy the land until 23:16.

The Shelah observes that this same pattern can seen by Eliezer as in Bereishis 24:26, Eliezer bows to Hashem to thank Him for finding Rivka and then again in 24:52, Eliezer is told that Rivka can go back with him and bows to Hashem in thanks, even though he has not yet given Rivka the Kesef Kiddushin.

R' Frand gave an analogy to a person who is buying a house. He looks for a house and when he finds a house that he likes, he thanks Hashem. And after he makes an offer which is accepted, he thanks Hashem. But he does not have the house yet - he still needs to get a mortgage and then go to closing.

The Shelah explains that when you are approaching a Yeshua, you need to thank Hashem for each step in the process. It is the tendency of most people not to say thank you to Hashem until the ultimate event. But this is not the right way to appreciate Hashem - its for each step of the process. R' Frand tied it to the Gemara that learns from Kol HaNeshama T'Hallel Kah - that a person should thank Hashem for each breath. We don't only thank Hashem for getting home safely, we start with Modeh Ani when we get up in the morning.

R' Frand then observed that one of the most outstanding aspects of Avraham's life is that he is able to appreciate each thing that occurs in his life. In Bereishis 24:1 the Torah states וְאַבְרָהָ֣ם זָקֵ֔ן בָּ֖א בַּיָּמִ֑ים וַֽיהֹוָ֛ה בֵּרַ֥ךְ אֶת־אַבְרָהָ֖ם בַּכֹּֽל. Rashi explains that בַּכֹּֽל - is because Avraham has a son as the gematria is 52 - which is the same as Ben.

R' Frand then asked - isn't Rashi's mission statement that he will explain the pashut pshat? A gematria is certainly not the simple explanation of בַּכֹּֽל!

R' Frand then observed that Avraham did not have an easy life as he was banished by his father, thrown into the fiery furnace, had his wife taken by Pharaoh and Avimelech, had to kick Hagar out, had a wife who was infertile for 90 years and then when he is told that Sarah will have a son in Bereishis 17:18, he responds - ל֥וּ יִשְׁמָעֵ֖אל יִֽחְיֶ֥ה לְפָנֶֽיךָ. Rashi explains that he is saying - I am not deserving to have another son, Yishmael should be enough for me.

This is Avraham's attitude? The average person if told that Sarah would bear him a son would say - its about time! But this is the way that Avraham lived his life - having a son is enough.

And this why the Torah writes וַיִּגְוַ֨ע וַיָּ֧מָת אַבְרָהָ֛ם בְּשֵׂיבָ֥ה טוֹבָ֖ה זָקֵ֣ן וְשָׂבֵ֑עַ in Bereishis 25:8. The Ramban explains that Avraham was happy because he did not have many expectations - he was happy with just Yishmael. And when a person does not have many expectations he dies a happy man.

R' Frand said that he had heard about R' Berel Wein who when he was growing up in the 1940s there was no expectation that he would have his own car. He was told to go to law school so that he could support himself. 

R' Frand said that he is a generation younger than R' Wein, but when he was first married and then for many years he bought used cars. But people now have expectations that life has to give them certain things. 

The present generation may think that they deserve things, but if a person has those expectations he will be frequently disappointed. But if he is not expecting things and thank Hashem for everything that comes his way, he can be זָקֵ֣ן וְשָׂבֵ֑עַ.

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Friday, November 11, 2022

Belated Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Vayera

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha last evening which we missed while travelling to LA on overnight flight. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

In Bereishis 19:27 the Torah states וַיַּשְׁכֵּ֥ם אַבְרָהָ֖ם בַּבֹּ֑קֶר אֶ֨ל־הַמָּק֔וֹם אֲשֶׁר־עָ֥מַד שָׁ֖ם אֶת־פְּנֵ֥י יְהֹוָֽה - Avraham went back and davened in the place where he previously stood before Hashem. The Gemara in Berachos learns from this that anyone who is kovea makom - sets a regular place for davening, the G-d of Avraham will help him.

But what is the significance of setting a makom? R' Frand answered by quoting R' Meir Tzvi Bergman who cites a mishna in Pirkei Avos which talks about the disciples of Avraham or Bilaam. Avraham was happy for others, generous and humble, whereas Bilaam was not happy with other peoples success and haughty and could not be satisfied with his lot.

Where do we see this? When Bilaam went to curse the Jews it became a beracha and afterwards Bilaam asked to go to another location where he thought he could be successful and after failing again asked to go elsewhere. Why did Bilaam keep asking to go elsewhere? Because he thought that the problem was not him, it must be the location. This demonstrates haughtiness - the inability to say I made a mistake, it must be the location.

Meanwhile Avraham davened unsuccessfully for Sdom and afterwards went back to daven in the same place again - because it was me and not the place where he davened.

R' Frand mentioned his disdain for politicians who always blame other people or other things for the failings and don't say - its my fault. R' Frand quoted from a note that was written by Eisenhower which initially stated that a beachhead landing had failed but changed it to, I failed.

R' Frand also quoted Bereishis 19:1 - וַ֠יָּבֹ֠אוּ שְׁנֵ֨י הַמַּלְאָכִ֤ים סְדֹ֨מָה֙ בָּעֶ֔רֶב וְל֖וֹט ישֵׁ֣ב בְּשַֽׁעַר־סְדֹ֑ם וַיַּרְא־לוֹט֙ וַיָּ֣קָם לִקְרָאתָ֔ם וַיִּשְׁתַּ֥חוּ אַפַּ֖יִם אָֽרְצָה. Rashi states that Lot got up immediately to run to the guests because he learned chessed and to be machnis orchim from the house of Avraham.

R' Frand cited the Tolner Rebbi from Yerushalayim who notes that Rashi is referring to a Medrash, but that Medrash was on the pasuk two pesukim later which states  וַיַּ֤עַשׂ לָהֶם֙ מִשְׁתֶּ֔ה. So why did Rashi state this here? Also, why does Rashi say that it was learned from the house of Avraham and not Avraham himself? 

The Tolner Rebbi asked a third question - the Medrash says that Lot should have been killed in Sdom since he went there based on their lifestyle. What happened to Avraham's chinuch? He brought in guests, but worshipped idols and lived the hedonistic lifestyle of Sdom.

The Tolner Rebbi explained that there are two different forms of chinuch. The first is a direct chinuch where you tell them to do x or not to do y. But as children get older they have their own drives and yetzer hara. But there is a second type of chinuch - which is a lifestyle they learn from their parents. If children see that their parents are always on time and responsible, children learn that too based on their environment. This is a less direct chinuch, but also is not a battle with the yetzer hara.

This answers the second question - Lot brought in guests because he learned from the way that Avraham had his house to be machnis orchim. No, the direct lessons did not make an impact on him, but he did learn this.

R' Frand said that also answers the first question on Rashi - its mentioned in the first pasuk because at this juncture, Lot had just been made a judge in Sdom and was bound to follow their laws of not treating guests properly. Yet, Lot ran to bring in the angels and be machnis orchim because it was instinctive. Lot may have been an idol worshipper and hedonist, but he learned from Avraham's house how to be machnis orchim.

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Thursday, November 3, 2022

Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Lech Lecha

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand's first vort related to the dialogue between Avraham and the king of Sdom following the war of the 4 kings and 5 kings. After the king tells Avraham in Bereishis 14:21 - תֶּן־לִ֣י הַנֶּ֔פֶשׁ וְהָֽרְכֻ֖שׁ קַח־לָֽךְ, Avraham responds in the following pasuk - הֲרִמֹ֨תִי יָדִ֤י אֶל־יְהֹוָה֙ אֵ֣ל עֶלְי֔וֹן קֹנֵ֖ה שָׁמַ֥יִם וָאָֽרֶץ.

R' Frand quoted the Medrash Rabbah which links this statement of Avraham with Moshe's saying shira at Yam Suf in Shemos 15:2 - זֶ֤ה אֵלִי֙ וְאַנְוֵ֔הוּ אֱלֹהֵ֥י אָבִ֖י וַֽאֲרֹֽמְמֶֽנְהוּ. The Medrash teaches that Moshe learned from Avraham in the way that he praised Hashem after being victorious in battle and therefore modeled his praise after Avraham.

R' Frand then quoted the Meshech Chachma who asked - what is the connection? Moshe said praise after the open miracle of the Yam Suf, whereas Avraham says that the miracle in battle was performed by Hashem and therefore I won't take compensation. 

He answered that Avraham taught a lesson in that it is not out of the realm of possibility for the few to defeat the many if they are more cunning or more skilled. Avraham resisted the urge to say - its because of my talents that we were victorious in battle. Moshe learned from Avraham to say - its all from Hashem.

R' Frand said a second vort from the Meshech Chachma on the same incident. The gemara in Chullin states that as a reward for Avraham saying in Bereishis 14:23 - אִם־מִחוּט֙ וְעַ֣ד שְׂרֽוֹךְ־נַ֔עַל וְאִם־אֶקַּ֖ח מִכָּל־אֲשֶׁר־לָ֑ךְ, we received the mitzvos of Tefillin and Techeles. The Meshech Chachma explains that the reason that we only wear Tallis & Tefillin at Shacharis and not any other prayer is because Avraham was responsible for the Shacharis prayer.

Lastly, R' Frand said a vort on the first pasuk of the parsha where Avraham is told to leave Charan. He first quoted the Rabbeinu Bachya who states that since Avraham had been living among the idol worshippers, Hashem gave him an eitza tova - leave there so that you don't become dirtied by living among them.

R' Frand quoted R' Moshe Scheinerman (sp?) from Flatbush who asked - if Avraham is known as "Ha'Ivri" because he separated from the rest of the world by recognizing that Hashem and creating the concept of monotheism, why did he need to leave the idol worshippers? He answered by noting that the language was that Avraham should not become dirty. A person can become dirty if someone or something rubs against his clothes, so better not to be around those things.

R' Frand also said that the reverse is true and that we can see this from this week's parsha as well. The Torah states in Bereishis 14:13 - וַיָּבֹא֙ הַפָּלִ֔יט - who we know to be Og. Why was he called Og? The Medrash teaches that he came on Erev Pesach when Avraham was baking matzos which are called Ugos. This momentary incident had an impact on Og and transformed him, even though his motive in telling Avraham about Lot's capture was less than pure.

R' Frand also quoted a vort from the Ponovich Rav about the story of the Romans sending Yosef Meshisa into the Beis HaMikdash because they were afraid to enter. They told him - you can go in and take whatever you would like and he acquiesced. When he emerged with a golden menorah, the Romans told him that it was not appropriate for him to have it and they asked him to go in a second time and take something else, but he refused.

The Romans were unhappy with this result and threatened Yosef, but he did not change his mind. They then punished him and made him turn the grain mill like a donkey, but he would not go back in.

But why did he refuse after having no issue with going in the first time? The Rav explained that when Yosef went in the first time he had a connection with kedusha and this had an indelible impact on him.

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