The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand in his annual Teshuva Derasha which was broadcast live from Baltimore on the TCN network this evening. I have attempted to summarize the first part of the derasha in this post and iyh will do an additional post over the weekend. This was a very powerful derasha and my attempt to summarize should not be viewed as an exact transcript as it is based on my notes. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
R' Frand began the derasha by noting that Yom Kippur is unlike any other day on the Jewish calendar as it is the sole fast day mentioned in the Torah. Our basic physical comforts are mandated by the Torah, including the shoes we wear and we will spend the day in shul. R' Frand quoted a pasuk in Tehillim 139:16 which has a different meaning when read and written. The pasuk states יָמִ֥ים יֻצָּ֑רוּ (ולא) [וְל֖וֹ] אֶחָ֣ד בָּהֶֽם. R' Frand translated this as Hashem has created the days and one of them is unto Him - there is a day Hashem has singled out to be different and special to Him. R' Frand quoted R' Yehoshua in Medrash Tanchuma which states that this is Yom Kippur - it belongs to Him. But if read as the way that it is written - there is a day that is different from all other days. This is Yom Kippur, the day that the Kohain Gadol goes into the Kodesh Kodashim - a place that even Moshe Rabbeinu could not enter. R' Frand said l'havdil - its a clean room, a room of absolute purity.
R' Frand also quoted Chazal that the location is Lifnai V'Lifnim - the innermost of the innermost. The vast majority of people will not enter this location and even the vast majority of Kohanim will not enter. But R' Emanuel Bernstein suggests that every single person possesses an internal Kodesh Kodashim because each person has a pure untainted soul which has a will to solely serve Hashem. We reference this in the prayer said in the morning Elokai, Netzur.
R' Frand utilized a Mashal of a diamond which has fallen in mud. It is filthy, but one only needs to wash it off and then it will be beautiful. The mud is sin and the diamond is your Neshama. The process of Teshuva is washing off the Neshama. R' Frand said that on Yom Kippur we enter that Kodesh Kodashim and wash off the mud of sin. When we evaluate our acts at that moment, we realize that our sins don't define us.
R' Frand quoted the Pasuk in Tehillim 32:1 אַשְׁרֵ֥י נְֽשׂוּי־פֶּ֗שַׁע כְּס֣וּי חֲטָאָֽה - praiseworthy is one whose sin is forgiven. R' Frand said that the word נְֽשׂוּי means above - a person who is above his sin. When we say the Al Cheit, we need to realize that we are better than this and we are not rolling in the mud. We are better than that.
R' Frand quoted R' Yosef Lev Bluch (sp?) from Telshe Yeshiva who explains that if one has erred, as long as he realizes that he is above those mistakes and is better than that, he can jettison his sins. Indeed the Rambam writes that the essence of Teshuva is to abandon his sins and put them aside from his mind and say - I will not do this again. If he does, the Yodeah Taalumos will know that he won't do this again. Some translate this as saying that Hashem will say - this person will not sin again in the future. But if that is standard, we will not be capable of reaching it as we certainly will sin in the future. But Taalumos does not mean the future, its the secrets. Hashem knows your secrets - that you are sincere and do not want to sin again.
However, there is a prerequisite for Teshuva. The Torah states in Devarim 30:1 - וְהָיָה֩ כִֽי־יָבֹ֨אוּ עָלֶ֜יךָ כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה הַבְּרָכָה֙ וְהַקְּלָלָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נָתַ֖תִּי לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ֙ אֶל־לְבָבֶ֔ךָ . Eventually when a person experiences these things, he will do Teshuva. But the Seforno says - examine your life and see what is true and what is false and where am I - are there contradictions in my life? Once you can distinguish truth from false, we can do Teshuva.
But this is only if we don't wear masks - as we need to honest in our review of our actions. Only after confronting and dismantling our contradictions can we do Teshuva as Hashem's signet ring is Emes - Truth and we must be honest.
I hope to complete the summary of the Derasha on Motzei Shabbos, IYH.
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