Bava Metzia 87 continues the agaddic discussion about Avraham and Sarah. Within the discussion, the gemara recounts the angels visit to Avraham in the beginning of Parshas Vayeira. The gemara comments that the angels say to him (Eilav) where is Sarah your wife and that the word Eilav has dots above the alef, yud and vuv. R' Yosi (as interepreted by Rahi) teaches that the dots are there to teach "derech eretz" that it is polite to ask about your hostess' welfare.
Tosafos (d"h Lama) is bothered by Rashi's interpretation as the dots should have said Ayeh not Ayo. Instead, Tosafos learns in the name of R' Azaria that the angels both asked Avraham about Sarah's welfare and then went to Sarah and asked about Avraham as well.
The story in the gemara brought back to me a vort R' Frand said last fall on this conversation between Avraham and the angels (according to Rashi anyway). R' Frand told a story in the name of a Rabbi Friedman who had said the story over in the name of Rabbi Shalom Wallach [I may be a bit off with these names]. The story involves a R' David Hershwitz who had learned in the Mirrer Yeshiva in Europe before WWII and then eventually moved to America. Forty years later, R' Hershwitz travelled to Israel to visit the Mirrer Yeshiva which had now migrated to Israel via Shanghai. When he arrived, he met with R' Chaim Shmulevitz who greeted him warmly. R' Chaim asked him whether he wanted to join them for lunch and (after asking permission from his wife) invited R' Hershwitz to come to his home for lunch.
When they arrived at the house, R' Chaim asked his wife what was for lunch. She answered that she had made chicken and rice. He ate the chicken with gusto and then commented on the quality of the food before asking as to the spices his wife had used in making the meal. She answered him and then he asked for (and received) a second helping. He ate this as well and commended her on her cooking.
When the meal was done, R' Hershwitz asked R' Chaim what had happened? The boy that R' Hershwitz remembered from yeshiva used to have to be reminded to eat because he was so absorbed in his learning that he forgot about meals. Indeed, at times he even needed to be reminded to bentch, because he got back into learning and forgot that he had eaten. How could this same person now be discussing the finer points of his wife's cooking and taking seconds?
R' Chaim answered - I am the best maggid shiur in Israel. I am not being haughty in saying this - my shiurim were developed over forty years and I have fine tuned them to the point that they are at right now. However, when a 17 year old student comes over to me after a shiur and tells me that it was a "nice shiur" it makes my day. The student does not know the hard work that went into the shiur and the time it took for me to develop the thought, but it still thrills me nonetheless that he enjoyed it.
R Chaim then explained - my wife's cooking is her shiur. She has worked hard at making this meal and my asking about it and commending her on her cooking makes her day. By praising her for her cooking, I show my appreciation for her dedication.
I can recall seeing a similar incident at the home of my Rebbi, R' Goldvicht when I was twenty years old. I had a meal in their apartment on 186th Street on Shavuos. After the meal, R' Goldvicht praised his wife for her cooking and said "If I knew Torah as well as my wife cooks, I would be the Gadol Hador."
The statement seemed cute to me at the time, but now with the benefit of twelve+ years of marriage I can tie it together. Spouses need to know they are appreciated and anything that an outsider can do to raise the level of respect that one spouse has for the value of the other can only help to further cement the marriage.
If you have seen this post being carried on another site such as JBlog, please feel free to click here to find other articles on the kosherbeers blogsite. Hey its free and you can push my counter numbers up!
Tosafos (d"h Lama) is bothered by Rashi's interpretation as the dots should have said Ayeh not Ayo. Instead, Tosafos learns in the name of R' Azaria that the angels both asked Avraham about Sarah's welfare and then went to Sarah and asked about Avraham as well.
The story in the gemara brought back to me a vort R' Frand said last fall on this conversation between Avraham and the angels (according to Rashi anyway). R' Frand told a story in the name of a Rabbi Friedman who had said the story over in the name of Rabbi Shalom Wallach [I may be a bit off with these names]. The story involves a R' David Hershwitz who had learned in the Mirrer Yeshiva in Europe before WWII and then eventually moved to America. Forty years later, R' Hershwitz travelled to Israel to visit the Mirrer Yeshiva which had now migrated to Israel via Shanghai. When he arrived, he met with R' Chaim Shmulevitz who greeted him warmly. R' Chaim asked him whether he wanted to join them for lunch and (after asking permission from his wife) invited R' Hershwitz to come to his home for lunch.
When they arrived at the house, R' Chaim asked his wife what was for lunch. She answered that she had made chicken and rice. He ate the chicken with gusto and then commented on the quality of the food before asking as to the spices his wife had used in making the meal. She answered him and then he asked for (and received) a second helping. He ate this as well and commended her on her cooking.
When the meal was done, R' Hershwitz asked R' Chaim what had happened? The boy that R' Hershwitz remembered from yeshiva used to have to be reminded to eat because he was so absorbed in his learning that he forgot about meals. Indeed, at times he even needed to be reminded to bentch, because he got back into learning and forgot that he had eaten. How could this same person now be discussing the finer points of his wife's cooking and taking seconds?
R' Chaim answered - I am the best maggid shiur in Israel. I am not being haughty in saying this - my shiurim were developed over forty years and I have fine tuned them to the point that they are at right now. However, when a 17 year old student comes over to me after a shiur and tells me that it was a "nice shiur" it makes my day. The student does not know the hard work that went into the shiur and the time it took for me to develop the thought, but it still thrills me nonetheless that he enjoyed it.
R Chaim then explained - my wife's cooking is her shiur. She has worked hard at making this meal and my asking about it and commending her on her cooking makes her day. By praising her for her cooking, I show my appreciation for her dedication.
I can recall seeing a similar incident at the home of my Rebbi, R' Goldvicht when I was twenty years old. I had a meal in their apartment on 186th Street on Shavuos. After the meal, R' Goldvicht praised his wife for her cooking and said "If I knew Torah as well as my wife cooks, I would be the Gadol Hador."
The statement seemed cute to me at the time, but now with the benefit of twelve+ years of marriage I can tie it together. Spouses need to know they are appreciated and anything that an outsider can do to raise the level of respect that one spouse has for the value of the other can only help to further cement the marriage.
If you have seen this post being carried on another site such as JBlog, please feel free to click here to find other articles on the kosherbeers blogsite. Hey its free and you can push my counter numbers up!
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