The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
In Bereishis 30:1-2, the Torah provides the discussion between Rachel and Ya'akov as to Rachel's ability to bear children. In the first pasuk Rachel says to Ya'akov - הָֽבָה־לִּ֣י בָנִ֔ים וְאִם־אַ֖יִן מֵתָ֥ה אָנֹֽכִי - "give me children and if not, I am dead." In response to this heartfelt request, Ya'akov gets angry at Rachel and then says וַיֹּ֗אמֶר הֲתַ֤חַת אֱלֹהִים֙ אָנֹ֔כִי אֲשֶׁר־מָנַ֥ע מִמֵּ֖ךְ פְּרִי־בָֽטֶן - "Am I in place of Hashem Who has withheld fruit from your womb?"
How can it be that Ya'akov could speak this way to his wife? The Medrash states that Ya'akov was punished for speaking this way, in that in the future his children will stand subservient to Rachel's son Yosef.
R' Frand mentioned that he had received an explanation of the Medrash via a source that he did not identify which had been sent to him from R' Bukspan from Miami. The source explained that the Medrash was specifically referring to the pasuk from Parshas Vayechi where the brothers plead with Yosef after Ya'akov dies and he responds וַיֹּ֧אמֶר אֲלֵהֶ֛ם יוֹסֵ֖ף אַל־תִּירָ֑אוּ כִּ֛י הֲתַ֥חַת אֱלֹהִ֖ים אָֽנִי - don't be afraid, am I in the place of Hashem?
He further explained that this demonstrates that there is a right time and a wrong time to say something. When Rachel was in pain, it was not the right time for Ya'akov to remind her that he was not Hashem. On the other hand, when the brothers came to Yosef and begged him not to take revenge, it was the right time for him to say - I am not Hashem - only He can decide if you should be punished for your actions.
R' Frand quoted a thought from R' Hutner that there is a time for everything, even to be an atheist. When a person comes to you and tells you that he needs help because he is destitute, it is not the time to send him away with reassurance that "Hashem will provide." Instead, this is the time for the potential donor to act to take care of the requesting person. On the other hand, if someone wrongs you, it is the right time to say "Hashem will provide justice" and leave it to Hashem to punish the person for wronging you.
R' Frand also quoted a Gemara in Bava Basra which tells the story of R' Yosef who was very ill and fell into unconsciousness, to the point that he ascended to Gan Eden. When he returned, his father asked him what he saw, and he responded - I saw an upside down world - what was on the top here was on the bottom there and vice versa. To this, his father said - no, you saw clearly.
Tosafos quotes R' Chananel who said in the name of the Gaonim through a direct oral transmission that he saw R' Yehudah as the Rebbi and Shmuel as the student, whereas in this world it was the reverse. Why was this inverted? Because when Shmuel was the Av Beis Din, a desperate woman came to him and since he was unable to help her, he paid her no heed. R' Yehudah said to him that he should listen to her, even if he could not help. By ignoring her, their roles became reversed.
R' Frand told a story about the Kotzker Rav whose sister came to him crying about her situation and he turned and closed the door. She cried aloud outside about how desperate she was and that Hashem should help her as even her brother would not help. The Rav then immediately opened the door and said - that was what I wanted to hear. You need to ask Hashem to help you as He is the only One who can.
But if this was Ya'akov's intention, why was he punished? R' Frand answered that it was because Ya'akov was too harsh in this respect and he was on a much higher level than the Kotzker Rav. At the end, one must always be ready to listen, even if you can't help.
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