The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand this evening. The thoughts were not on the parsha as R' Frand stated that he wanted to discuss the situation we are dealing with. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
R' Frand quoted a pasuk in Bereishis where the brothers asked each other, trembling - what has Hashem done to us? Why has he done this to us?
R' Frand remarked that the Jewish world and anyone who believes in a G-d would ask this question.
R' Frand again stated that there are no answers to this as we don't have prophecy. But we can see how this impacted on us as we cannot go to shul to daven and we can't learn in groups.
The second impact is that we have to be home and for lack of better terminology we are stuck at home and we spend twenty-four/seven with our spouses and our families.
R' Frand quoted the Tolner Rebbi from Yerushalaim who had an observation about this phenomenon. He began by quoting the Chidushei HaRim on Devarim 1:15 where Moshe states וָֽאֶקַּ֞ח אֶת־רָאשֵׁ֣י שִׁבְטֵיכֶ֗ם אֲנָשִׁ֤ים חֲכָמִים֙ וִֽידֻעִ֔ים - I took the heads of your tribes, wise men who are known. The Sifri explains that this is a request for Judges who must be known to you. The person may come looking like a Tzaddik and wrapped in a Talis and in awe and trembling. But what is he like when he goes home? But these people are known to you. If you want to know what a person is like, you need to live with that person.
R' Frand remarked that there is an expression - no man is a hero to his valet. The valet sees him in all of his ways - a person can be the nicest person in public, but at home he may not be the nicest guy - he may be a tyrant.
R' Frand said that maybe we have this requirement to be home as a lesson that we need to be different at home - when we are around a person constantly we need to be more patient and compassionate and maybe this is what Hashem wants us to work on.
R' Frand said that a zechus for a person besides davening is to work on his middos and improving himself as a person. The necessity to change one's temperament and how one acts and speaks with others. R' Frand quoted R' Yisrael Salanter who said that its harder to change a middah than to learn shas.
R' Frand noted that the pasuk in Shemos 12:3 וְיִקְח֣וּ לָהֶ֗ם אִ֛ישׁ שֶׂ֥ה לְבֵֽית־אָבֹ֖ת שֶׂ֥ה לַבָּֽיִת - there was a requirement to have a seh for the house - everyone in his own home.
R' Frand closed by quoting the Gemara in Eruvin 54 which says that the world is like a wedding. He quoted R' Bunim who explained that there are a lot of things going on at a wedding - the food, the music, the flowers. But there is only one thing that counts - the groom gives the bride a ring in front of two witnesses. And it does not matter if the food is off or the flowers are wilting - what matters is the Chassan states the specific words based on the language and the witnesses witness it. And the rest is just a distraction.
This is the lesson that we are learning - what is important is what is going on in our homes and with our own families. Everything else is just a distraction.
R' Frand remarked that we see weddings take place in driveways and neighbors are standing on their porches and taking videos with their phones while the bride walks with her gown in the street. R' Frand said that his wife said - I don't know if I can say this about my daughter- but isn't this what it is all about? He found his bashert - she is walking down to greet him and be married and there is nothing else that matters.
R' Frand said that this is the message of matza as well, its just flour and water. There is no salt or spice or leavening agent - this is it and this is all that counts. Just keep an eye on the flour and water - that's all that matters.
R' Frand noted that this is the first time in his life that he will not be in a seder with the larger family - his parents and then once he was married, with his parents or in-laws. And then once he had children and grandchildren with them.
But this year he will just be with his wife and they will fulfill the Gemara in Pesachim that says that if there are not children, the wife asks the Mah Nishtana. He will not be with his children or grandchildren. And R' Frand said that for those who are by themselves they can take solace from the Lubavitcher Rebbi, who did not have children. Every year he had the seder just with his wife and no others. When his wife passed, his chassidim begged him to join them and he insisted that he would have the seder alone. People stayed outside and watched and they saw him open the door and step out for Shfoch Chamascha and he waved and went back inside.
R' Frand remarked - we will do that this year because this is what Hashem wants from us. And iyh next year or even this year as it is still before Pesach, we will be able to eat from zevachim and pesachim togther.
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