The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
R' Frand began the parsha vort by noting that the parsha has two laws which are difficult to comprehend - the law of Aishes Yifas To'ar and later in the same aliyah, the law of the Ben Sorer U'Moreh ("BSU").
R' Frand prefaced the vort by stating that he had spoken many times in previous years on Aishes Yifas To'ar and would be focusing on the BSU. He gave a brief overview of the law, including that the BSU must first be warned and receive malkos for sinning from his parents and then if he does so a second time, his parents bring him for capital punishment. And even though he has not committed an act which is so horrible, better that he dies without having killed someone else.
R' Frand then quoted the Gemara in Sanhedrin which contains the qualifications for a BSU, including that the parents must both have the same height and speak with the same voice. (The Bach explains why it could never have happened). He noted that there is an opinion in the Gemara that there never was a BSU and that the law exists solely for the reward of learning about it.
But R' Frand also quoted a Gemara in Sanhedrin which states that if the parents forgive him, even if he already received malkos for the first violation, he does not receive the death penalty. Furthermore, even if one parent forgives him, he is not killed.
R' Frand remarked that there is no criminal punishment in halacha which can be waived by the victim. Civilly, a person can waive a fine or payment, but a crime is a crime.
R' Frand quoted R' Elya Svei who explains that the reason that the BSU is not punished is because if one parent is willing to forgive him, it shows that someone still believes in him. And if someone believes in him, then in fact he can turn around. When the child sees that the parents were willing to have this occur and now changed their mind, the child himself has hope that he can change.
R' Frand noted that R' Elya connected this to the concept of Teshuva. What the Torah is telling us indirectly, is that any time that a person believes in himself, there is also hope. He quoted a Medrash in Vayikra Rabbah about a sharecropper who had a miserable year and the crops fail. He goes to the landowner and is asking for a handout. If the sharecropper comes well dressed and with a smile on his face, and he tells the landowner that the land was great, the year was great, the animals were great (all not true) and he asks for a loan of 10 dinarim - the landowner will give him 20.
On the other hand, if the sharecropper shows up and he looks downtrodden, with unkempt hair and ripped clothes and when asked by the landowner how the year was and he tells him the land was lousy and the animals were weak, then when he asks the landowner for a loan of 10 dinarim, the landowner will throw him out, saying - I am not throwing more money away!
So why was the landowner reward the one who is lying, while ignoring the honest one? The lesson is that the landowner saw that this one has confidence and if he trusts in himself and believes in himself, then I will have trust in you. But if you are hopeless, I am not going to trust you - its a bad bet.
The Medrash then discussed how King David came to Hashem and asked Hashem to forgive him. Hashem says - I will be Mochel you. But why? Because Hashem saw in David that he believed in himself and still saw the good. Hashem said if you think you can have a better year and do teshuva, then I believe in you as well. The same way that the landlord will give credit to the one who shows that he has a positive outlook and will do something good with the money, so to Hashem wants to help us if we have a positive outlook on the new year.
R' Frand closed by noting that 2020 has been an "incredible year" but not in a good sense. Many of us feel beaten down and that we have slipped. But what matters is our attitude about the future. If we believe that we can improve in the new year, then IYH, Hashem will have trust in us as well.
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