The following is the second half of my summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand in his annual Teshuva Derasha which was broadcast on the TCN network. (The first half can be found here https://kosherbeers.blogspot.com/2023/09/rabbi-frands-5784-teshuva-derasha-part-i.html). This was a very powerful derasha and my attempt to summarize should not be viewed as an exact transcript as it is based on my notes. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
The second part of the derasha asked the question - are we honest with ourselves? Are we who we purport to be?
R' Frand noted that many meforshim wanted the Jews to be reminded of the sale of Yosef on Yom Kippur and we do remember it through the Asarah Harugei Malchus which were a Kapparah for it. He also quoted an opinion that we dont wear leather shoes because Yosef was sold for a pair of shoes. But the main reason is that the day that the brothers faced Yosef is the archetype of the Yom HaDin. One of the most dramatic moments in the Torah is when Yosef tells his brothers that he is Yosef and his brothers could not answer him as they were speechless. The Medrash quotes R' Elazar Ben Azarya who says - woe to us on Yom HaDin and woe to us on the day of Tochaha. And this was a mere mortal, how will we stand before Hashem and answer Him?
But where is the Mussar or Tochacha? Yosef did not say anything overtly negative to them! The answer is that when he revealed himself, the brothers realized that they had been living a lie for all of those years. They thought that Yosef was an evil person and deserved to die and that they had been compassionate by only selling him. But they realized that they were wrong and he was right. And there is no greater rebuke than to realize that you had been living a lie for all of those years.
R' Frand quoted a Gemara in Nedarim which states that Gehinnom will be Hashem taking the Sun from its sheath and there is a bright light. The Tzaddikim will enjoy this as they have lived a life of truth. But the Reshaim will see the inconsistency of their lives and there is nothing more painful. R' Frand said that this is what Chazal had in mind with the allusions to Yosef - its hard to anticipate the Yom HaDin - but we can understand the way the brothers felt.
R' Frand said that there is one day a year where we can examine ourselves and see whether we are living truthful lives or do we see inconsistencies.
R' Frand quoted the pasuk in Devarim 30:1וְהָיָה֩ כִֽי־יָבֹ֨אוּ עָלֶ֜יךָ כָּל־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה הַבְּרָכָה֙ וְהַקְּלָלָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נָתַ֖תִּי לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וַֽהֲשֵֽׁבֹתָ֙ אֶל־לְבָבֶ֔ךָ - R' Frand quoted the Seforno on the end of the pasuk which asks what it means to return it to your heart? He says that you should think about the contradictions in your life and the secrets hidden in your heart and ask how far you have strayed from Hashem. R' Frand that it this which is the essence of Teshuva - are you honest with yourself, or do you live a double life? Do we talk and act the same way in Shul as we do in the workplace? Are we the same inside and outside of our homes? Being consistent and Emes is where we need to be.
R' Frand quoted the last of the Ashamnus - Tiatanu which the English translates as you have led us astray. But R' Frand thought that it was connected to the dialogue between Ya'akov and Rivkah where she asks him to dress as Esav to get the berachos. Ya'akov says in Bereishis 27:12 - אוּלַ֤י יְמֻשֵּׁ֨נִי֙ אָבִ֔י וְהָיִ֥יתִי בְעֵינָ֖יו כִּמְתַעְתֵּ֑עַ - the word there means that he was afraid of being a faker - a dual personality. R' Frand said this is the last of the Ashamnus - the culmination.
R' Frand said that anyone who has been a parent and grandparent wants their kids to be honest and to fear Hashem. We spare no expense or trouble to do so, but there is no secret formula. R' Frand said that the Shela HaKadosh warns us to raise honest children as honest children will be good children.
R' Frand said that he heard that R' Ya'akov Kaminetsky never hit his children, unless they lied.
R' Frand said that he realizes this is a tall order. But we can start by living a life that is scrupulously honest. We need to be careful with our speech - even white lies. R' Frand said that he knows this is trivial - but exaggerating and saying a trip took 7 hours instead of 5 is still lying. And being careful about this will have an impact on our speech, even to avoid the whitest of lies will have an impact.
R' Frand said that he recently heard a story about someone who was a close talmid of R' Aharon Kotler ZTL and when R' Aharon was working something through in a tough sugya he asked for the talmid to come. But when the student visited Israel he never went to R' Aharon's kever because he said that he was embarrassed as to how he turned out, although R' Frand opined that the student probably had nothing to be embarrassed about.
R' Frand said in the time of Moshiach there will be Emes which will impact the whole universe. But on an individual level this could be frightening - standing in front of him and saying Shalom Aleichem. R' Frand quoted Yeshaya who writes that the Moshiach will have the spirit of Hashem and the spirit of wisdom and undestanding...and the Moshiach will not need to judge by what his eyes see or his ears hear - the smell will be enough. The Radak says that this means that he will have a lightning grasp of whether we are truthful or not. How will we feel when we greet the Moshiach when he will judge us without even opening our mouths. R' Frand said that if we become more honest, we wont have to be concerned - I may not be the greatest Tzaddik, but I am who I am.
If we commit ourselves to be honest in our relationships in business, with our friends and with our spouse/family, we wont need to be afraid.
[Wishing everyone a Gmar Tov, easy and meanigful fast - Neil]
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