Thursday, November 9, 2023

Thursday's Parsha Tidbits - Parshas Chaye Sarah

The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand's first vort related to the pasuk in Bereishis 24:32 which states that after Eliezer came to Besuel's house - וַיִּתֵּ֨ן תֶּ֤בֶן וּמִסְפּוֹא֙ לַגְּמַלִּ֔ים וּמַ֨יִם֙ לִרְחֹ֣ץ רַגְלָ֔יו וְרַגְלֵ֥י הָֽאֲנָשִׁ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר אִתּֽוֹ. Although Rashi states in connection with the story of Eliezer that greater is the discussion of the avadim of the avos than the Torah of their children, in this regard the Medrash states that greater is the washing of the avadim than the Torah of their children.

R' Frand linked this washing to the washing of the feet of the Malachim who came to visit Avraham in last week's parsha. R' Frand quoted the well known Rashi that Avraham was concerned that the Malachim were arabs who worshipped the dust of their feet. Therefore he gave them water to wash off the Avodah Zara when they came to his home.

R' Frand then asked - there are many odd Avodah Zara practices discussed in Tanach and the Gemara. But why would anyone worship the dust of their feet?

R' Frand answered by quoting the Arugas HaBosem which explains that they were not actually worshipping the dust. He explains that a person needs his feet to get to work and earn a parnasah. A person may feel that after he closes a good deal, or has an idea that turns into a great product, that it is his own acumen which caused the financial windfall. In so doing he will forget that Hashem is gozer on Rosh Hashanah the money that the man will earn during the year and that while he needs to do his Hishtadlus, its Hashem who decides if  the business will be a success.

The Arugas HaBosem explains that the arabs were not actually worshipping the dust of their feet. Instead they were lauding themselves for their success and praising themselves feet for getting them there. 

When Eliezer arrived at the home of Besuel he washed off his feet and those of the people who were with him, to show that even in the pursuit of Shidduchim, its not the Hishtadlus that makes the Zivug work out. It is all from Hashem.

R' Frand said a second vort on the pasuk in Bereishis 24:60 - וַיְבָֽרְכ֤וּ אֶת־רִבְקָה֙ וַיֹּ֣אמְרוּ לָ֔הּ אֲחֹתֵ֕נוּ אַ֥תְּ הֲיִ֖י לְאַלְפֵ֣י רְבָבָ֑ה וְיִירַ֣שׁ זַרְעֵ֔ךְ אֵ֖ת שַׁ֥עַר שֽׂנְאָֽיו . R' Frand quoted the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch which states that this was said as a bracha at the Badekin by the Elders. Even today it is said by the father of the Kallah at the Badekin. But why is the bracha of Lavan and Co so prominently mentioned?

R' Frand answered that perhaps the reason is that the beracha was selfless. Lavan was not happy that his sister was marrying Yitzchak. And the language of the beracha specifically demonstrates that Lavan was blessing her that her descendants would triumph over his. Since the beracha was given with no strings attached and purely to her benefit, it has found its way into our wedding practices.

R' Frand further theorized that perhaps the beracha itself is a lesson for the chosson and kallah as to how a marriage can be successful. If you want to succeed, you must think completely about the other person's well being and not about your own.

R' Frand closed the vort by telling a story about R' Ya'akov Twerski of Milwaukee who had been hospitalized with pancreatic cancer. When the doctors came in and told him that there was an experimental treatment, he was unsure about whether to try it. After his wife left the room, he asked his son (who was an MD) whether the treatment had much chance of success and his son said that it would be very painful and unlikely to succeed. When his wife later came into the room and asked - so are you going to try the treatment, he responded "Yes." When his son asked him why, he told him - this is giving your mother a lift and if he did not try the treatment she would forever regret it.

In the end the treatment was not successful and he did succumb to the cancer. But his choice to have the treatment for the sake of his wife's peace of mind is the real lesson.

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