The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
R' Frand noted the juxtaposition of the events at the beginning of the parsha as it begins with Parah Adumah, followed by the death of Miriam and then Moshe's sin at Mei Merivah. He quoted Rashi which explains that reason that Miriam's death follows the Parah Adumah is to teach that just as a Karban atones, so does the death of a Tzaddik.
After the death of Miriam there is no water as the Be'er of Miriam ceased to give water and after Moshe was told to speak to the rock he hit it and was punished.
R' Frand noted that there are 16 different explanations of what Moshe did wrong. He recalled that when he was in 9th grade each student was given the task to discuss one of the explanations (he was given R' Yosef Albo).
However this year R' Frand said that he saw a sefer from R' Immanuel Bernstein which quoted a Targum Yonasan Ben Uziel which satisfied him in explaining the sin of Mei Merivah.
R' Frand prefaced the explanation by discussing the questions which arise when reading the story. The first is why did he hit the rock instead of speaking to it? The second question is how could Moshe not follow Hashem's instruction? The third question is why did Hashem ask Moshe to take his Mateh if his job was to speak to the rock, Hashem was not out to confuse Moshe? The fourth question is based on Hashem telling Moshe and Aharon in Bamidbar 20:12 - יַ֚עַן לֹא־הֶֽאֱמַנְתֶּ֣ם בִּ֔י לְהַ֨קְדִּישֵׁ֔נִי לְעֵינֵ֖י בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל . Why are they told that they are being punished for not believing in Hashem?
R' Frand then delved into the Targum which states on 20:14 that Moshe was told to take the Mateh with Aharon and to go to the rock and make it swear with the Shem Hameforash that it will give water. And if the rock did not give water, then hit it to make the water come out.
R' Frand observed that Hashem had a plan A and a plan B. If the rock would not give water based on the swear, then you should use the stick.
So why did Moshe not listen? R' Frand tracked back to the Rashi and quoted Chazal which explain that the death of a Tzaddik only atones if the death causes introspection and people want to change as a result. But if people don't change, there is no atonement.
R' Frand observed that when Miriam died there is no Hesped and no crying. Instead immediately thereafter the people start arguing with Moshe. As opposed to when Aharon died and all the Jews cried and similarly when Moshe died at the end of the Torah - the Jews cried.
R' Frand opined that Moshe must have thought - you are complaining about water now, right after my sister Miriam died and I am an aveil? These people must not be on a high level as his sister died and they just want to complain about water. Moshe then says to himself, Hashem wanted me to speak to the rock (as observed by Rashi) as they will draw Mussar that if I speak to a rock it will listen, surely we should listen. But this will be lost on them and if I speak to the rock and they are not worthy of having the water come out, there will be a Chillul Hashem when nothing happens. So I am going to go straight to plan B and hit the rock, because you are rebellious people.
Hashem then says to Moshe - you jumped to conclusions. There are two million people who need water and their kids are crying and their animals are braying. They probably did feel bad about Miriam's death, but this is their priority because they need water. They could make the Hesped at the Shloshim.
Hashem then says to Moshe - you are being punished because I have a higher opinion of the Jews than you do and you did not believe Me.
This explains the connection between Miriam's death and Parah Adumah, why he was told to take the Mateh, how he could make that mistake and why he was told he was being punished for not believing in Hashem.
R' Frand said that R' Bernstein observes that Aharon died as a result of this event, but what did Aharon do wrong? He was a bystander. He explains that Aharon as an Ohev Shalom and Rodef Shalom should have told Moshe - you are judging them too sharply. Had Aharon intervened and said that he should give them a break because they were all thirsty, then Moshe might not have jumped to plan B.
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