Monday, September 17, 2018

Monday's Musings on Teshuva - The Rabbi Frand 5779 Teshuva Derasha - Part II

The following is a second installation of a summary of some thoughts said by Rabbi Frand in his teshuva derasha shown last week in Baltimore. (The first summary can be found here http://kosherbeers.blogspot.com/2018/09/thursdays-thoughts-on-teshuva-rabbi.html). Same rules as usual apply. I have attempted to summarize many of the thoughts to the best of my abilities. Any inconsistencies are the results of my transcription and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand then gave another way to increase emunah which he called more profound. To do so is to be more dependent on Hashem and He will respond in kind. Because we need to realize that its not up to me, its up to Him and the more that I rely on Him, the more He will help. A person needs to do his hishtadlus, but after that he needs to put it in Hashem's hands.

R' Frand quoted a Gra on Tehillim which discusses the relationship between a nursing mother and a baby. The more baby is willing to nurse, the more the mother will give the baby. This is what David HaMelech says in Tehillim where he says that his soul is connected to Hashem like a nursing baby. The more that I am dependent on Hashem, the more that he will respond in kind. But the opposite is true as well. R' Frand quoted the Chovos HaLevavos who writes that the more dependent a person is on a man, be it his boss or a doctor, the less that Hashem will respond. We all say that Hashem provides the paransah and the doctor heals with Hashem's permission, but do we really believe it?

R' Frand quoted a story from R Yechiel Tauber's sefer on Emunah. R' Tauber's grandparents had a soda factory in Czechoslovakia. They had a policy that they would not fill orders after noon on Friday. One Friday a massive order came in on a Friday afternoon and his grandmother begged his grandfather to take the order. He said, no - we have a policy. She said that the factory was struggling and that the order would really help, it was a bracha from Hashem! He responded that Hashem would not be sending this if the order required them to work on Friday afternoon. R' Frand remarked that was putting his money where his mouth is.

R' Frand told another story about R' Belsky who was rushed to Maimonides Hospital and was diagnosed with a ruptured abdominal aorta. They found him a Jewish surgeon who was going to perform the surgery. But then, the askanim of Boro Park decided that he could be better treated at NYU and they located the best cardiothoracic surgeon to do the surgery. When they told R' Belsky he was being transferred he adamantly opposed to being transferred. He said that it was an issue of kavod habrios and they could not make this Jewish surgeon feel insufficient. As long as he had a competent surgeon -- that together with kavod habrios would be good enough because you dont embarrass another person. That is putting your life in Hashem's hands.

R' Frand quotes the baruch hagever and asked what does mifatcho mean? He answered that is making Hashem your insurance, as this is the common word for it in modern Hebrew.

R' Frand remarked that we all want to be like that and to be serene without being consumed with worry. We daven for this three times a day in Shemoneh Esreh. People know what Barech Aleinu and Shema Koleinu and Refa'einu are about. But we don't think about what the Al HaTzaddikim beracha means, where we talk about those who have bitachon in Hashem and we ask "V'sim Chelkaynu Imahem" --we want to be like those people. We wish for less worry and to have that level of bitachon.

R' Frand noted that if a person can achieve that balance between hishtadlus (underscoring that a person can't sit back - they need to do due diligence, be it checking out the business opportunity, or shidduch or doctor) and reliance.

R' Frand quoted a sefer by Esther Stern about R' Michel Feinstein whose daughter was having an asthma attack. They looked high and low for the child's nebulizer but could not find one and the child died before the ambulance could get her to the hospital. In preparing for the funeral they found 3 nebulizers under the child's bed and were inconsolable. How could they have missed it? R' Yaakov Galinski, the maggid of Yerushalayim came to be menachem avel. He reminded him of what they had learned together in the Lamzer Yeshiva - a person is required to do hishtadlus about the future. But after something has transpired a person should not feel remorse about the past. And to say what if I had done this or this (what he called coulda, shoulda, wouda) is heresy. For whatever His reason is, Hashem said that it was time for that girl to die and sometimes Hashem gives people the sechel to make the wrong decision. This gave R' Michel Feinstein solace.

R' Frand told a story of R' Mendel Futerfass who survived Siberia and made it to Israel. They asked him the secret of how he survived. He answered that he grew up in a small town in Russia and once a tightrope walker came and he walked one way on a rope between mountains. He then asked should I go back again and people said no! But he did. He did it again with his child in a wheelbarrow. They asked the kid, are you afraid and he said - If father is taking care I know it will be OK. Then R' Mendel asked the tightrope walker how he did it? The man responded, I just concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and taking the next step. R' Mendel said that he concentrated on that when he was in Siberia and just looked at the next step.

R' Frand told an additional story from R' Tauber's book. When R' Tauber was celebrating the Shabbos Sheva Berachos of his youngest daughter, it was Shabbos Shoftim and in speaking he quoted the pasuk Tamim Tehiyeh Im Hashem Elokecha. Rashi states on this - just accept it and don't try to figure out the future, accept what comes. R' Tauber then turned to his father - do you remember the night in the bomb shelter in Budapest. Do you remember when it was you and me and my three brothers in the bomb shelter? Their mother had been deported to Auschwitz and they had been hiding pretending to be non-Jews. The younger brothers did not even know their Hebrew names. Then a blast hit the shelter and his father fell to the ground, unconscious.  When he awoke he told R' Yechiel who was then six years old what he believed what his last will and testament. Your mother has gone to Auschwitz, but dont worry as Hashem takes care of orphans. Your brothers Hebrew names are...  R' Tauber then turned to his father and said that if a prophet came to you in the bomb shelter and said that you and your wife would survive the war and have 5 more children and that 50 years later you would be sitting in Monsey, NY at the Shabbos Sheva Berachos of your granddaughter would you have believed it? And his father replied with an emphatic- NO. But it happened and that was what Rashi means by dont try to figure out the future.

R' Galinski was at his grandson's Sheva Berachos in Jerusalem and gave the following speech - I never understood the pasuk in Tehillim my salvation is far from my pleas. When I was in Siberia I was punished for keeping Shabbos and they made me stand out in the cold. I saw the dogs had dog houses and I crawled in to huddle with the dog to try to stay warm. And the next morning they threw bread to the dogs and I prayed that I could have a piece of dog bread- that was all I wanted. And now, my salvation is so far from my prayer - I am in Jerusalem at my grandson's Sheva Berachos.

R' Frand told a story about a person in Baltimore who lived her life that way. Mrs Jacobowitz had stage 4 cancer for 11 years and her children did not know that she was undergoing treatment. Anyone who knew her knew that she was vibrant and always going here and there and doing for other people. Meanwhile raising 10 children and she never let on and she never looked sad or worried. R' Frand asked Dr Jacobowitz - did you ever see this Rashi? He responded that when he first saw the diagnosis he showed them to another doctor who said that she only had months. How did she do it? She took one day at a time and lived it to the fullest. This was a woman who lived among them on Yeshiva Lane and she had emunah and that is what we daven for.

R' Frand said that if we work on that emunah, then after 120 years we can answer the question - Yes, we did work on our emunah.

Gmar Chasima Tova.

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