Thursday, September 13, 2018

Thursday's Thoughts on Teshuva - The Rabbi Frand 5779 Teshuva Derasha - Part I

The following is a summary of some of the thoughts said by Rabbi Frand in his teshuva derasha shown live this evening from Baltimore. Same rules as usual apply. I have attempted to summarize many of the thoughts to the best of my abilities. Any inconsistencies are the results of my transcription and should not be attributed to R' Frand.

R' Frand began the shiur by noting that this year on Rosh Hashanah, we look around the room and see some empty seats which were previously filled by beloved members of the community. We realize that the previous Rosh Hashanah, Hashem decreed that these people finished their mission on this earth this year. And when they leave this world they face a Yom HaDin which is much scarier than the earthly Rosh Hashanah. would not make it to this year's Rosh Hashanah...

R' Frand made reference to the U'Nesaneh Tokef tefillah which contains a sentence "U'Malachim Yechafeisun." According to some poskim, the language of this sentence are actually describing the test which is given after 120 years and it is a "final exam" much scarier than our school tests. But unlike the tests given in school, we have been given the questions in advance. This test has only six questions and we can prepare for them. One would think that we can "ace" the test because we know the questions in advance, but that is not possible.

R' Frand quoted the Gemara in Shabbos which contains the 6 questions and recited 4 of them, albeit with the caveat that he would only focus on one question. The questions are Nassata v' Nassata B'Emuna which is commonly explained as - were you honest in business. The next question is did you set aside time for learning Torah. Another questions is were you involved in having children. R' Frand remarked that fulfilling this aspect is not dependent on having children as some people are biologically prevented from doing so. But instead the question asked is - did you try, and if you were unsuccessful did you donate money to organizations such as Bonei Olam or ATime which help infertile couples, or did you try to make shiduchim. The final question R' Frand mentioned was - were you eagerly anticipating Moshiach.

R' Frand focused on the first of these questions, albeit with an "unconventional" (my word, not his) view of the question. He quoted R' Menachem Mendel of Riminov (sp?) who explained that the question is not about business --it is whether you did anything to improve your emunah during your lifetime? Is your emunah the same as it was when you were 6 or 16?

R' Frand remarked that his grandson asked his mother - Who is Hashem's Tatty? This is a child's view, but our view of emunah must advance beyond that stage.

R' Frand observed that everyone in the audience at the live showing in Baltimore (and by extension everyone at the 60+ TCN sites viewing on-line) must be a ma'aman - a believer in Hashem, because otherwise what are they doing here? They would be watching the Ravens (who are playing in tonight's Thursday Night football game). But even though the people are ma'aminim, there is more to work on.

R' Frand gave the following scenario - are you ever driving in the car on  the highway when you see a state trooper behind you? You gently tap on the brakes and hope that he won't notice you are slowing down. And when the lights come on, does your heart skip a beat...until you see that he is speeding past you because he has bigger fish to fry? If this is your thinking about a Maryland State Trooper who at most will require you to pay a few hundred dollar speeding ticket and cause you a few points on your license, what is your thought when you know that Hashem is beside you in the car and is aware of your every action? Since Hashem is always watching us and always there, how do we ever sin? Because even though we know He is there, we are unable to translate that emunah that he is there into a cognizance that He is there and observing our activities. 

And the question of Nassata V'Nassata B'Emunah is what did you do to work on your emunah to be aware that Hashem is there? 

R' Frand compare this to the playing of piano or golf. In order to succeed, you need to work on and repeat the actions in order to internalize them. This can be seen in the word Emunah which comes from Imun - to work on something. Because Hashem is not able to be simply perceived by our sense of touch or smell or sight or hearing. You need to work on seeing Hashem in your daily light as we see from the pasuk "U'Bikashtem...Ki Sidreshenu" - that a person needs to seek Hashem out. It wont come on its own, you need to so something.

R' Frand quoted a Rebbi who compared it to hide and go seek. A child will hide behind a tree and think, I found a good hiding place. But after a few minutes of hiding, you start to realize that the person isn't looking for you. And that is how Hashem feels when we are not looking for him in our daily lives.

But how does one work on their emunah? R' Frand proposed three ways to do so, and I will do my best to summarize them below.

The first suggestion is to be actively involved in being aware of the Yad Hashem in our daily lives. This makes us aware of the reality of Hashem. When a person sees something, he should write it down in a diary, because over the course of a year, the person will realize all that Hashem has shown Himself.

R' Frand said that every Friday Night he and his wife sit down and discuss how they saw Yad Hashem in their lives that week. For him, its the same - he did not know what he was going to be speaking about, or needed  ma'aseh and suddenly he got an e-mail out of the blue or a call, or someone discussed something with him, and the shiur came together.

R' Frand discussed a family that every year has a Seudas Hoda'ah -- and not on Thanksgiving. At this meal the father reads from a diary in which he wrote down in a notebook over the course of the prior year all the times that he saw Yad Hashem, be it as (seemingly) trivial as a child fell off a bike and was not hurt, to events which were more obviously significant.

R' Frand quoted R' Michel Twersky of Milwaukee who has a slightly different take on this. He quoted the Gemara in Erchin which talks about Yissurin. But these are not only big events and the Gemara discusses what seem to be small events which are still Yissurin. The Gemara first proposes that a person buys new clothes and has them tailored and they don't fit. The Gemara then says that there is even a lesser version which is still Yissurin - when you make a hot drink and the temperature is off and you need to start again. But even lesser still, the Gemara states that when you reach into your pocket to take out one coin denomination and the wrong coin comes out. This is Yissurin and when they come, its Hashem's way of giving a potch and we should be happy that it is a small event such as the tea being cold, or the suit not fitting exactly or needing to reach back into the pocket for a few more dollars.

R' Frand next made reference to a parable to a son of a king who committed a capital crime with a punishment of stoning. The king was in a quandry, he could not stone his son, but he could not let him off the hook either. So his advisers told him to break the boulder that would have been used for stoning into little pebbles and throw them at his son one by one periodically until the boulder was exhausted.

R' Frand remarked that we don't recognize that small inconveniences such as the car not starting or the computer crashing or more tragically not being able to find your cellphone are Hashem's way of giving us these small pebbles instead of much larger tzoros/tzrroros (my pun, not his) and these are for the best. Don't view these as aggravations, Hashem is doing us a favor.

R' Frand said that he tries to employ this, but events do occur...

R' Frand told a story about is recent trip to Barcelona. He mentioned that he flew out of Philadelphia because there are no direct flights from BWI. He was able to sign up with a service that allows you to drive your car to the airport and they then take it from the airport to the garage and watch it for you. For an additional 14.95 the person who drives for you will not even need to be dropped off afterwards and R' Frand sprung for this perk as well.

When R' Frand flew back from Barcelona to Philadelphia he had been flying on very little sleep and he was happy he had signed on for this service. He followed the instructions from the agency and did not call for his car until he had his bags and was at the curb. They told him that it would be 5 minutes, R' Frand stood at the curb in the 91 degree & humid weather and began to wait. Five minutes turned into ten and he said to himself, Hashem must be saving him from something greater and he was thinking of this vort from R' Michel Twersky.

But then fifteen minutes went by and soon twenty. At that point, R' Frand lost his patience. He called the number again and asked where his car was and was told that they would check and put him on hold. They came back and said that they "had to junk the car." He could not believe it, what was the point of the service to drive the car for him if they could unilaterally "junk" the car. He asked again why and they said that it would not start so that they had to "junk" it. R' Frand went back into the terminal and again asked why did they "junk" his car? At this point the service rep's diction improved and he heard that they needed to jump the battery because it would not start.

R' Frand remarked that he tries to be conscious of these small stones, but it is a constant effort.

There was much more to the shiur and I will iyh try to finish the summary in a weekend post.

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