The following is a brief summary of some of thoughts said over by R' Frand on the parsha this evening. I have attempted to reproduce these vorts to the best of my ability. Any perceived inconsistency is the result of my efforts to transcribe the shiur and should not be attributed to R' Frand.
In Bereishis 32:11, the Torah recounts Ya'akov stating קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַֽחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכָּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ.
R' Frand quoted a Sefer by R' Hadar Margolin which states that קָטֹ֜נְתִּי is found in some Chumashim with a "Revi'i'" as the note instead of the more prevalent "Azla Geresh."
R' Frand remarked that he had looked in a number of Chumashim and could not find one with a Revi'i, so he called a friend who is an expert Ba'al Koreh. His friend (whose name I did not catch) said that the Aleppo Codex which is rumored to have been written by Ezra HaSofer and at one point was utilized by the Rambam, has a Revi'i as the note.
But what is the difference between the two notes? R' Frand quoted R' Margolin's sefer which described a fundamental difference which can be tracked through many sources.
Rashi states that Ya'akov's expression of קָטֹ֜נְתִּי meant that he at one time had many zechuyos, but they had been "spent" and now he did not feel that he enough to warrant being saved.
The Ramban takes issue with Rashi's explanation and instead explains that Ya'akov was saying that he was unworthy of all the good things which had occurred. In so doing, the Ramban quoted Bereishis Rabbah in which R' Abba said that Ya'akov had said "Eini K'Dai" - I am not worthy.
R' Frand noted that even though the Ramban quoted R' Abba, there was another opinion in the Medrash - R' Levi - who explained that Ya'akov was stating - I used to be worthy, but I have since lost my zechuyos.
R' Frand then tracked the same machlokes to a Gemara in Sotah 5b which records a dispute as to whether a Talmid Chocham should have ga'ava. One opinion states that he should have ga'ava - specifically one eighth of one eighth. R' Frand quoted the famous opinion of the Gra that this calculation comes from the קָטֹ֜נְתִּי which is the beginning of the eight pasuk of the eight parsha.
However, there is another opinion in the Gemara that a Talmid Chocham should never display ga'ava.
R' Frand remarked that this tracks on the same overall machlokes - either a person should say Eini Kidai - I am not worthy, or he can have a small amount of ga'ava.
R' Frand said the actual notes show both schools of thought. The Azla Geresh is a note which goes upward, showing some level of ga'ava. Meanwhile the Revi'i sinks lower, as if to say Eini Kidai - I was never worthy.
R' Frand closed the vort by quoting his Rosh Yeshiva who gave a "mashal" that a person has two pockets in his suit - one is for the side of B'shvili Nivra HaOlam - the world was created for me. But the other side is for Anochi Afar V'Efer - I am nothing. A person needs to have his hands in both pockets.
R' Frand then told a story from the sefer about a grandfather who gave a speech at his grandson's Siyum HaShas. The grandfather said that he was born in Russia and that on the day of his bris, ten men got together to drink vodka and play cards. When they were sure that the KGB was not around, they stopped playing cards and had the bris. Then they went back to drinking vodka and playing cards.
The grandfather said - do you think when they said that I should grow "L'Torah U'Lchuppah U'L'Maasim Tovim" - did they really think that was possible? Back in Russia they were just hoping that I would marry a Jew. And now I have a grandson who finished Shas - Eini Kidai!
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